Lucy by Skillet

Hey Lucy, I remember your name I left a dozen roses on your grave today I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away I just came to talk for a while I got some things I need to say [Chorus:] Now that it's over I just wanna hold her I'd give up all the world to see That little piece of heaven looking back at me Now that it's over I just wanna hold her I've gotta live with the choices i made And I can't live with myself today Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday They said it'd bring some closure to say your name I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance But all I got are these roses to give And they can't help me make amends [Chorus] Here we are, now you're in my arms I never wanted anything so bad Here we are, for a brand new start Living the life that we could've had Me and Lucy walking hand in hand Me and Lucy never wanna end Just another moment in your eyes I'll see you in another life In heaven where we never say goodbye Here we are, now you're in my arms Here we are for a brand new start Got to live with the choices I've made And I can't live with myself today Me and Lucy walking hand in hand Me and Lucy never wanna end Got to live with the choices I've made And I can't live with myself today Hey Lucy, I remember your name

Cancer by My Chemical Romance

Turn away, If you could get me a drink Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded Call my aunt Marie Help her gather all my things And bury me in all my favorite colors, My sisters and my brothers, still, I will not kiss you, 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you. Now turn away, 'Cause I'm awful just to see 'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body, Oh, my agony, Know that I will never marry, Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo But counting down the days to go It just ain't living And I just hope you know That if you say (if you say) Goodbye today (goodbye today) I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true) 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you 'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you

March 7, 2013

To quote System of a Down: The most loneliest day of my life. I swear that today was probably one of the worst days that I've had. I have to go to work after school, and I really don't want to go, but that's not what's really bumming me out and bringing me down. What's bringing me down is the alienation that I'm experiencing now. I feel left out of everything. Everyone's carrying on their lives in different directions, and that's fine, but I'm never incorporated in anyone's plan. I feel as though I'm just the lone wolf. I've always been good at playing that role in people's play called life, but it sure as hell isn't the role that I tried out for. I wish that someone would just invite me to go do something with them. I'm really not as mean as I look, and I just want some friends that I can spend time with instead of sitting at home, letting my life and feelings fade away like from the cigarettes that I smoke. But that's definitely what's got me down the most... I'm listening to My Chemical Romance's song, "Cancer." I miss you, Sarah. More than you could ever imagine. I started singing "Lucy" by Skillet because I was thinking of you... Why did the cancer have to take you from us. I wish you could've met with the oncologist the next day like you planned to.. I'd still have you here with me. I still remember what Bracken told me the day at the Walmart in Kearney before the funeral. He told me how you wanted us to spend a lot of time together this summer. How you guys wanted me to spend a few days out at the farm with you. I still can't let go of you... Probably because I didn't get an official chance to tell you goodbye before you left... I miss you Sarah Matucha... I'll see you sometime... This is all the time that I have to vent for today.. I'll see all of you whenever...